Week of reflection

With the passing of our beloved prophet Gordon B Hinckley, it has been a time of reflection. What would be said about me if I left this world tomorrow. What would I be remembered for? What talents, characteristics, values, educational and spiritual beliefs would my children have for good or bad in their lives because of my actions and beliefs. President Hinckleys daughter said that she wondered how she would ever teach her children to believe in her beliefs, and how to instill in them the values she had. She said she went to a talk given one evening by her father and as he spoke she realized that it was by what she did, how she acted, and the example that she demonistrated that she would teach her children. It isn't the preaching, the lessons we pay for the children to take, or the house we live in, or the money we make, it is our actions that speak louder than our words.

That very idea was reinforced to me this weekend and I was reminded that I didn't do the best in my example some of the times. I relected on Saturday evening as I watch the funeral and proceedings again, that life is about example. What an awesome example our prophet has been to the world, what standards he has set for each of us as we live each day. I realized how much I valued his love of the youth and how much better my children are for the lessons he taught by his life. I thought about the times as a family we would laugh as he brought humor into the gospel and how important that was to us. I remember his "B's. How simple yet how powerful. I thought about the tree planting 30 years before, and how such a small example of planting a seed turned into a reminder of strength and beauty for each of us to see when we watch the conferene talks from the beautiful pulpit. I guess I thought about the fact that small things can bring beautiful rewards with time even when we don't know we are planting seeds.

I was made aware this weekend of my short comings, my faults, my lack of parenting as I thought about what difference I have made in the world and in my family. I came to this conclusion (as of tonight anyway), that if we do the best we can each day, that is what our Father in Heaven wants. He didn't expect us to be perfect each day, he expected us to make some errors in judgement, to loose our tempers sometimes, or to say and do emotional things, but he wants us to learn from our mistakes, to grow in wisdom, to look forward not back, and to find joy in life each day. Some days I think I did great, other days not so great. Do I know more now, yes, but at the time I was making some choices, and raising the family, I did the best I could with the knowledge and skills I had. I can not go back and do overs, but I can be a better grandma and maybe even a better mother if I use what knowledge I have gained from the mistakes of the past. I know that my commitment has been strengthened this weekend by listening to the life of our prophet and his example of loving and caring. I hope to do better in my daily living and to make the gospel a stronger part of my life.